"During slavery time two ole niggers wuz talkin’ an’ one said tuh de other one, :Ole Massa made me so mad yistiddy till Ah give ‘im uh good cussin out. Man Ah’ called ‘im everything wid uh handle on it.”
De other one says, “You didn’t cuss Ole Massa, didja? Good God Whut did he do tuh you?
He didn’t do nothin’, an’ man, Ah laid one cussin’ on ‘im! Ah’m uh man lak dis, Ah won’t stan’ no hunchin’. Ah betcha he won’t bother me no mo’.
“Well, if you cussed ‘im an’ he didn’t do nothin’ tuh you, de next time he make me mad Ah’m goin’ to lay uh hearin’ on ‘im”
Nex’ day de nigger did somethin’. Ole Massa got in behind ‘im and he turnt ‘round an’ give Ole Massa one good cussin’ an Ole Massa had ‘im took out down and whipped nearly tuh death. Nex’ time he saw dat other nigger he says tuh ‘im. “Thought you tole me, you cussed Ole Massa out and he never opened his mouf.”
“Ah did.”
“Well, how come he never did nothin’ tuh yuh? Ah did it an’ he come nigh uh killin’ me.”
“Man, you didn’t go cuss ‘im to his face didja?
“Sho Ah did. Ain’t that what you tole me you done?
“Naw, Ah didn’t say Ah cussed ‘im tuh his face. You sho is crazy. Ah thought you had mo’ sense than dat. When I cussed Ole Massa he wuz settin’ on de front porch an’ Ah wuz down at de big gate.”
De other nigger was mad but he didn’t let on. Way after while he ‘proached de nigger dat got ‘im de beatin’ an’ tole ‘im, “Know what Ah done tuhday?”
“Naw whut you done? Give Ole Massa ‘another cussin’?”
“Naw, Ah ain’t never goin’ do dat no mo’. Ah peeped up under Ole Miss’s drawers.”
“Man, hush yo’ mouf! You knows you ain’t looked up under the ole Miss’s clothes!”
“Yes, Ah did too. Ah looked right up under her very drawers.”
“You better hush dat talk! Somebody goin’ hear you and Ole Massa’ll have you kilt.”
“Well, I sho done it an’ she never done nothin’ neither.”
“Well, whut did she say?”
“Not uh mumblin’ word, an’ Ah stopped and looked jus’ as long as Ah wanted tuh an’ went on bout my business.”
“Well, de nex’ time Ah see her sittin’ out on de porch Ah’m goin’ tuh look to.”
“Help yo’ self.”
Dat very day Ole Miss wuz settin’ out on de porch on de cool uh de evenin’ all dressed up in her starchy white clothes. She had her legs all crossed up and de nigger walked up tuh de edge uh de porch and peeped up under Ole Miss’s clothes. She took and hollered an’ Ole Massa come out an’ had nat nigger almost kilt alive.
When he wuz able tuh be 'bout agin he said tuh de other nigger; “Thought you tole me you peeped up under Ole miss’s drawers?”
“Ah, sho did.”
“Well, how come she bet done nothin’ tuh you? She got me nearly kilt.”
“Man, when Ah looked under Ole Miss’s drawers they wuz hangin’ out on de clothes line. You didn’t go look up in ‘im while she has ‘em on, didja? You sho is uh fool! Ah thought you had mo’ sense than dat. Ah Claire as did. It’s uh wonder he didn’t kill yuh dead. Umph, umph, umph. You sho ain’t got no sense atall.”
Courlander, H. (1976). A treasury of Afro-American folklore: The Oral Literature, Traditions, Recollections, Legends, Tales, Songs, Religious Beliefs, Customs, Sayings, and Humor of Peoples of African Descent in the Americas.
-Yogabrofessor
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